There are five
different types of poker players that you should be aware of before you sit down to play your next hand. Understanding different poker
styles will not only help you exploit your opponents, but just might assist you in finding your own personal style as well.
The NIT is content to sit back and wait for ultra-premium hands, and will blind himself into oblivion if necessary. Plays nothing
but Aces, Kings, Queens, and sometimes, AK. When you’re re-raised by a NIT, you can safely fold hands up to, and including, QQ.
The Best Player At The Elks Lodge
The BPATEL is someone who knows just enough about poker to beat a NIT. Will make obvious bluffs with busted draws, will check monster
hands on the turn and get no real value for them on the river. You want to play lots of pots with BPATEL’s because, well, they really
don’t know how to play, but they think they do and will pay you off handsomely trying to prove it to you.
The College Dorm Champion
The CDC is the King of his dorm’s .25/.50 No Limit game held on Saturday nights while all the cool kids are out with the cheerleaders.
CDC’s believe in
semi-bluffs, all-in bluffs, and bluff calls.
CDC’s never believe anyone has a hand that they won’t lay down to a check-raise, so this is their main weapon. How do you beat CDC’s? To
be honest with you, I wouldn’t know. I dated a cheerleader, so I was busy on Saturday nights.
The Super-Serious $2/$4 Limit Player
These guys are the most fun to sit at a table with. Not because you’ll learn anything, or take them for a big score, but simply because
they’re self-proclaimed experts at poker. They wear hats, sunglasses, and iPods whether they’re playing live or online. They never lose
a hand that someone else didn’t suck out on them. They actually believe bluffing is possible at the $2/$4 level, and when 2nd pair calls
their bluff and wins the pot, the air is filled with the sounds of them berating the other players for being donkeys. These are the guys
who wear the silk shirts with Royal Flush’s spread out on the back of them when they play live. When they finally move up to $5/$10,
they’ll be the ones who have the Royal Flush tattoo’s on their arms. I love these guys; they used to pay my heating bill.
The “I’m down 30 buy-in’s this week, and it’s all from bad beats!” Player
This is the player who plays K5 suited and can’t lay down the K when it hits, no matter how many people are in the pot. They play any
two suited cards, any 2 cards that are 2-gap or less, and any Ace, and can’t fold any of them if they hit a flop. They whine constantly
about being out-kicked, and can’t understand why they have such bad luck. Solid, ABC poker will gradually empty them out for the night,
but they’ll be back, you can bet (and win) on it. These players are priceless. They’re the ATM’s of poker, and when you find one, you
should consider moving closer to the casino he plays in (or to his hometown, if he plays exclusively online).
In the immortal words of Kenny Banya, these players, “Are gold, Jerry….GOLD!” I’m not saying you can quit your day jobs and make a
living beating these players. You can, however, take your wife out for dinner and a show once a week. All you need to do is hit the ATM.